The Yin-Yang of Receiving-Giving, as real as gravity!

My dear friend,

I AM honored to share my article in April 2015’s edition of the much loved Los Angeles “Whole Person” Magazine, which offers monthly tools and events for readers to excavate, elevate, illuminate & LOVE!

A great synchronicity here is that one of my clients, Malcom Carter, is producing an indie documentary on Nassim Haramein, that handsome brilliant man on the cover, called “The Connected Universe“!

Enjoy and celebrate the Yin-Yang of Receiving-Giving!  I welcome and encourage and and all comments and feedback here.  Thank you for YOU!

 

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Celebrating & remembering Chris Butz as #MatchTurns20

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When I was hired to do marketing (and whatever else needed to get done) for the start-up of Match.Com, everyone was running around like a chicken with its head cut off!  With my last corporate job, we had weeks of sales training and such. Not here!

As I was trying to make heads and tails of it all, Chris Butz, tall, handsome and debonair, took me by the hand and calmly guided me to the lobby, away from the craziness.  Here, he brought a large piece of computer paper and a pencil, and started drawing and mapping out this mysterious thing called the Internet, how it all worked, how it was all connected, and how powerful it was going to be once people logged in.

Chris had this intensity about him, as do I, which allowed us to bond quickly, and, well, intensely. After this illuminating lesson, I felt confident and impassioned to join the craze!

One of the greatest compliments in my life came from Chris. We were just hanging out in South Park, a lovely park lined with cafés and restaurants next to our office, and he looked me in the eye and remarked, “Wendy, I am truly impressed by how much you’ve been able to do with marketing and outreach, with so little money.”  I believe they call this “guerrilla marketing” and yes, I did learn how to stretch, and how to partner as more of a barter.  This learning came in very handy after Match, up to now.

We also both lived in North Beach, and we had some fun together there, as well.   One of my favorite memories was when he took me to my first (and last) Hot Yoga class.  Chris was so poised and even sweated in style.  I was, on the other hand, hot and bothered!  Afterwards, we went to a health food store for wheat grass shots (which then bothered my stomach!), and then to my home, where we climbed to the roof and watched an airplane show.  Yes, an unforgettable day with an unforgettable man.  And from what I gather, he was also quite a ladies man, too!

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Chris’ mother, RoseMarie, has a funny story to share here:

Chris was a very modest person who would much rather help others than draw attention to himself.  Early in his employment at Match, he was approached by someone in the organization, asking him if he would like to have his picture be one of the images that would be used in the Match.Com promotions. Although he was flattered, his modesty took over and Chris immediately refused.

A couple of weeks later, Chris’ brother, Greg, was on a business trip to San Francisco and had dinner with Chris. He was surprised to see that Chris had shaved his head and was totally bald. Bald heads were not a style trend at this time.  When Greg asked why he had shaved his head, Chris replied, “I knew if I shaved my heard, they would no longer ask me to be one of the images in the new marketing promotion program.” That was Chris!

One of his closest friends, Simon, shared with me how he and Chris explored classical music and scotch.  They listed to Olivier Messiaen, which is a sort of rock n’ roll of classical music.

As we celebrate Match.Com’s 20th Anniversary, I also celebrate Chris Butz, who has transitioned from his quintessential human form way too early.  On April 26th, just 5 days after Match’s 20th year anniversary, was Chris’ 17th year anniversary of his passing.

I love you, Chris, and you will always be in my heart. xoxo

hanging on love

Match.Com 20th Reunion Blog, #MatchTurns20

happy reunion team

The original Match.Com Team at our 20 year Anniversary Reunion

Match Team
It’s hard to believe that two decades ago, me and about a dozen or so others, launched Match.Com onto the internet in a San Francisco basement.  I am truly honored to be a part of a new global dating paradigm and of one of the first online communities, or what we now call “social media.”

I had moved from Boston to San Francisco with Entertainment Publications, a publishing company.  So when I started at Match, I literally knew nothing about this new medium except that it held great potential.  Did I mention “potential” is one of my middle names?!  I think that holds true for all of us creative entrepreneurs.

I can’t believe that twenty years ago, my colleague and good friend, Chris Butz, sat me down with a large piece of paper and mapped out this Internet thingy for me, drawing and laying out how it is all connected and how powerful it is, especially once more people get online.

Chris Butz
Chris Butz, my Guide and Friend

My father reprimanded me out loud, “Wendy, have you gone California crazy?!  Why would you leave a well-paying corporate job for a start-up that is giving you half the pay?”  At this time, very few had heard about the Internet, and I agree, it sounded crazy.  Fortunately, I was single and adventurous at the time, so I went for the impractical ride!  And it was, by far, one of the best decisions of my life (and for those who know me, I also made many misguided decisions along the way!)

As for my role, I wore many hats, which is a part of the fabulous fun and hard work required of a start-up. I was doing marketing, business development, promotions, event management, and even PR before Trish McDermott joined us.  Come by and see some of my work by clicking here!

Some of my favorite early memories from back in the day, was our intimate team meetings, where we all sat Indian style on the floor, with Gary Kremen, the Founder and our Fearless Leader, or Fran Maier, the Co-Founder and General Manager, leading the meetings. With no conference rooms or expensive tables and chairs in our cozy basement, we really bonded as family, and the deep desire to succeed wasn’t just about the usual financial potential, but it came from the heart. And isn’t that the best way to launch the largest matchmaking service on the planet?!  I’m actually quoting the “Guinness Book of World Records” who state this as a fact! Really!!

One of my all-time favorite memories of Match was when we had a news reporter at the office, interviewing Gary.  He was sitting down, again, Indian style, with his hands on his knees like a yogi, and with his tie die T-shirt on (see picture below). She asked him, “What gave you the idea to launch Match.Com?”

“I want to bring love to the planet!”

And so he did!

Gary in tie die shirt
Gary Kremen in his favorite tie die shirt in our Match office

match com party
One of our Match.Com outreach events soon after launch

There were so many memories, learnings and new experiences that I can honestly write a book of my 1 ½ years at Match.Com.  This may be a possibility, though my last book took me 3 years to write, so I am not so focused on this for now.

In the meantime, we had a most amazing 20 year reunion celebration back in San Francisco, which was not only heart-warming to see my Match family again, but also allowed me to ask a few of them some questions for this blog.

What was one of your biggest business learnings from launching the first online matchmaking service on to the Internet?

Gary Kremen:  The important of distribution channel, customer acquisition cost and brand.  On a personal level, I learned to stay humble and hungry and prove myself every day.

Fran Maier:  We were in a new business, “online dating”, which was a rite of passage with no real default in place.  It was more like “dating in the wild”!  It was important to have a target market and to learn how to interact with them with integrity. For us, this market was appealing to women, which meant that we had to build our reputation up in order to build this network.

Trish McDermott:  When I was coaching the CEO, Gary Kremen, with media training, I tried to get him to fit into a box.  What I realized soon after was that Gary was already perfect as he was, as he was genuine and he shot from the hip. My big learning here was that passion is better than perfection!

As we reminisced about the early days of Match.Com, several vibrant memories came forth.  Like for me, with the Outreach hat on, I had so many people say to me in astonishment, “Why would I meet a partner through a computer?  I can just go to a friend’s party or a bar!”

Fran remembered one couple who came to our office, a successful match, and they were in their 70’s.  He was a sailor from World War II!  That was definitely out of our demographic.  They were so happy to have found one another, and we had constant reminders of what a good job we were doing as our success database grew exponentially!

Trish and I had a good laugh at the reunion party when she recalled how we were taking pictures of Match.Com members at one of our parties, and then uploading it to their profile (no cell phone yet!).  A reporter came up to Trish and remarked, “You are crazy, who is going to put their photo up?”  Lot’s of LOL’s!

And now Match’s success has led to over 1 million babies!  We’ve not only brought love to the planet, but we’ve contributed to a whole new generation.

If you have a Match story to share, please do so in my commentary section below, and thank you so much for stopping by!

The Heart and Soul of Midlife Mothering in One Place

Zen of MM

A few years back, as I was tweeting away about the ups and downs of being a single parent, Cyma Shapiro approached me and complimented my sincere posts.  Then she honored me with the invitation to write for her mid-life mothering / parenting blog called Mothering in the Middle.  Since I love to write, as it helps me put my thoughts and heart together as an outlet of expression, I accepted her offer enthusiastically.  Little did I know what I was getting myself into, as not only have I published some impassioned meaningful blog posts, but Cyma chose one of her favorite blogs of mine to be placed in her published anthology called, “The Zen of Midlife Mothering“!  I’m now officially published.  On top of all that, Cyma has become a good friend and colleague, and I am so grateful to her for her passion to bring us midlife parents together, where we have a safe place to share our joys and our troubles.  She was even interviewed in an article on CNN recently, giving Cyma the credit she so deserves, as she serves so many.

On this note, please bookmark this page, or at least come back when you have a little more time, or sit back and enjoy right now!  Here is a list of the blog articles that I’ve written for “Mothering in the Middle” since 2013.  Please let me know below if you have any comments, thoughts or points of discussion on any of these blog posts.  Look forward to hearing from you!

1.  My Post-Valentine’s blog, “Love Thy Children, Love the World“, describing how we can spread the love to the world through the unconditional love that a mother feels for her child.

2.  “How ‘Merry Christmas’ Upset Me (And How I Got Over It).”  Fascinating read for all to see another perspective of holiday bewilderment!

3.  An emotional excerpt from my eBook memoir, “Real Eyes Faith
4.  Life as a single mom, with 5 kids home for 2 1/2 months of Summer, “The Oy’s and Joy’s of Summer
5.  As a parent, do we wear a Halloween mask all year?  “Trick or Truth
6.  “Bringing on the New Year with Vision,” go beyond resolutions and see your future!
7.  How I identify myself as a Polar Bear mom, with protection of my cubs #1. “Are You a Polar Bear Mom?
8.  As a parent, do you walk your talk?  Your kids are watching you very closely… “Walk the Talk (A Commentary)

9.  I’m asked over and over again, “How do you do it?!”  Here’s how: “Unconditional Love and Gratitude Make Mothering Oh, So Much Easier!

10. Summer time is definitely overwhelm time for this single mom. Read how I created a “Summer with grand expenses without grand expense!

11.  Seasons Change and So Do WE! Go with the flow, my friend.

12. The Holidays are here! Are we focused on Presents or Presence?!

 

 

 

“Walk The Talk”, my blog article

Hello and welcome to my new blog space!

I am honored to be a contributor to “Mothering In The Middle”, and have my first blog posted today, called “Walk The Talk”, something I try hard to do, at:

http://www.motheringinthemiddle.com/?p=4319

Please give it a read, and share with me your thoughts, opinions, ideas, inspirations, whatever!  Right here… or feel free to email me at:  email hidden; JavaScript is required.

Big hugs to you,

Wendy Sue

Martin Luther King Poem, by Ocean Noah (age 14)

Who was Martin Luther King?

Martin Luther King was a man who had a dream
he saw a bright future no one else could see
he said, no matter what color, which race
whatever religion, whatever troubles you face
all should be treated fairly
though it was scary
to introduce something new
he knew it was the right thing to do
so he changed the world
made everything different
because a few important people sat down and listened
later on he was shot and dead
but we all to this day remember the revolutionary words he said

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Wow, thank you Ocean!  We love your words and Martin Luther King’s dream and service to humanity!

“Who looks outside, dreams.  Who looks inside, awakens.”
 –  Carl Jung

Parent or Wuss?

Sounds like a practical question, in this day and age.

I couldn’t believe it, there I was eating my lunch with CNN’s Headline News, nothing unusual.

Then it came on, the discussion about the “sexualization” of young girls, like 7, 8, 9 year old girls.

The so-called expert came on describing how horrific it is to have young girls dressing like prostitutes (well, maybe she didn’t use that word, but you get the drift), and then she exclaimed, to my horror:

“It’s all the fault of the media and the culture.  Parents have little choice but to go with the flow, and for the ones who take a stand and tell their girls NOT to dress THAT way, KUDOS to them!”

My God!  Hello!??!  Who is in charge here, the media, the ‘cult‘ure, or the PARENTS!!

I’m seeing more and more parents who are just focused on themselves, on fitting in, on being cool, on being satisfied, etc. — instead of being a PARENT.  Our children, they are our future ~ something to look forward to, something to prepare for, something to hope for…

My daughter’s best friend moved overnight to another part of CA due to her parents’ dispute over a Facebook posting.  Really, just like that.

The other day, my kids’ school therapist told me how refreshing it was to work with a parent who really cares… as most parents just expect them to fix their kids problems in the 1 hour they spend with them a week.

It is so sad…  Maybe that is why God gave me 5 children to raise and raise UP!

If you are a parent, please see the beauty, the innocence and the future in your child(ren), who need YOU to help raise them RIGHT.

Let’s all raise up together, regardless of what is considered “normal” or not.

Let’s hold hands, let’s hug and love our children as ourselves.

Thank you!

Wendy Sue aka Lady Clarity

“Every saint has a past and every sinner, a future”  Oscar Wilde

My 11-year old daughter Ocean’s poem: “What does it mean to be strong?”

Does it mean to admit your wrong,
or to always be right?

To look out for others,
or have excellent sight?

To be able to lift weights,
or have a few play dates?

To fit in the crowd,
or to be protective and proud?

To have power like a king,
or to always know the right thing?

All of the things are strength on the list,
whether you have muscles on you’re wrist,
or have strength in you’re heart.

The problem with people that starts most wars,
is they can’t tell strength and strength
APART.

“Everything you can imagine is real.”Pablo Picasso