Celebrating & remembering Chris Butz as #MatchTurns20

EPSON scanner image

EPSON scanner image

When I was hired to do marketing (and whatever else needed to get done) for the start-up of Match.Com, everyone was running around like a chicken with its head cut off!  With my last corporate job, we had weeks of sales training and such. Not here!

As I was trying to make heads and tails of it all, Chris Butz, tall, handsome and debonair, took me by the hand and calmly guided me to the lobby, away from the craziness.  Here, he brought a large piece of computer paper and a pencil, and started drawing and mapping out this mysterious thing called the Internet, how it all worked, how it was all connected, and how powerful it was going to be once people logged in.

Chris had this intensity about him, as do I, which allowed us to bond quickly, and, well, intensely. After this illuminating lesson, I felt confident and impassioned to join the craze!

One of the greatest compliments in my life came from Chris. We were just hanging out in South Park, a lovely park lined with cafés and restaurants next to our office, and he looked me in the eye and remarked, “Wendy, I am truly impressed by how much you’ve been able to do with marketing and outreach, with so little money.”  I believe they call this “guerrilla marketing” and yes, I did learn how to stretch, and how to partner as more of a barter.  This learning came in very handy after Match, up to now.

We also both lived in North Beach, and we had some fun together there, as well.   One of my favorite memories was when he took me to my first (and last) Hot Yoga class.  Chris was so poised and even sweated in style.  I was, on the other hand, hot and bothered!  Afterwards, we went to a health food store for wheat grass shots (which then bothered my stomach!), and then to my home, where we climbed to the roof and watched an airplane show.  Yes, an unforgettable day with an unforgettable man.  And from what I gather, he was also quite a ladies man, too!

EPSON scanner image

EPSON scanner image

Chris’ mother, RoseMarie, has a funny story to share here:

Chris was a very modest person who would much rather help others than draw attention to himself.  Early in his employment at Match, he was approached by someone in the organization, asking him if he would like to have his picture be one of the images that would be used in the Match.Com promotions. Although he was flattered, his modesty took over and Chris immediately refused.

A couple of weeks later, Chris’ brother, Greg, was on a business trip to San Francisco and had dinner with Chris. He was surprised to see that Chris had shaved his head and was totally bald. Bald heads were not a style trend at this time.  When Greg asked why he had shaved his head, Chris replied, “I knew if I shaved my heard, they would no longer ask me to be one of the images in the new marketing promotion program.” That was Chris!

One of his closest friends, Simon, shared with me how he and Chris explored classical music and scotch.  They listed to Olivier Messiaen, which is a sort of rock n’ roll of classical music.

As we celebrate Match.Com’s 20th Anniversary, I also celebrate Chris Butz, who has transitioned from his quintessential human form way too early.  On April 26th, just 5 days after Match’s 20th year anniversary, was Chris’ 17th year anniversary of his passing.

I love you, Chris, and you will always be in my heart. xoxo

hanging on love

“See you in Heaven”

me and mom


UPDATE:  my mother passed away peacefully on June 4th, 2012.  This blog describes my last encounter with her in human form, though she has visited me several times since, taking the form of a hummingbird, my favorite bird.


My dear mother has had a debilitation disease for almost 2 decades now, and it is finally at the end of its cycle, taking all of her physical abilities and almost all of her mental capacities.

My Aunt called me to let me know that she is at the end of her life line, and it may be a good thing to visit with her, before she transitions from this life.

My mom is in a nursing home in New Jersey, across the country from my home in Los Angeles.  Due to the fact that I’m a single mom with 5 children, I knew that it was going to take a lot of faith and Divine manifestation to get over there for a visit.

After a week or so, once I let go of the frustration and anxiety, and let God, I received the $$ from family for the round-trip flight, and a few good friends volunteered to care for my precious children while I was away.

So I was off.

Haven’t seen my mom in 3 years, and was choked up inside and out when I first saw her in her current condition.  Even with the preparation from my family, I was not ready to see my mom in a body that no longer works for her.  I was not ready to see how she aged in every way, shape and form, and had very little spark or hope in her eyes, which was closed most of the time.

I tried to converse with her about many things, including updates of her grandchildren and me, and it felt like I was speaking to a brick wall.  It was frustrating, at first.  Then I lightened up, and was just with her.  Holding her hand, hugging her, loving her.

We took a stroll (in her wheelchair) in the nursing home’s garden, where we heard birds sing and saw many lovely plants and trees.  She hasn’t felt sun or fresh air in a long time, and I could feel her spirits lift.  Even asked her questions about our surroundings, and she answered in one syllable answers, letting me know she was present.

My last day with her, ran into a musician who was on her way to put on a performance for the residents.  Asked my mom if she wanted to hear some music, and she enthusiastically (very rare) nodded her head yes.  So we went, and she moved in spirit to the rhythm, and her eyes were opened more than ever.  I even danced with her arms, and sang to her (even though she has always told me that she did not like to hear me sing, I didn’t care!).

The most special thing was all the smiles I received from her, which my Aunt told me was rare, and very special.  Indeed.

After the concert (well, sort of), I painted her nails with a lovely rose color, washed her crusty face and brushed her beautiful silver gray hair.  When I left, she actually looked much better!

Had a few minutes alone with her before I departed, and I thanked her for being such a loving supportive mother.  I surrounded her with love and light, and massaged her body with healing energy, and then informed her that:

“I will see you again in Heaven.  Just let go and let God.  You are in good hands, and greatly loved.”

Hugged her one more time, kissed her on the lips… and left her in peace.

“Everything you can imagine is real.”Pablo Picasso