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The Yin-Yang of Receiving-Giving, as real as gravity!

My dear friend,

I AM honored to share my article in April 2015’s edition of the much loved Los Angeles “Whole Person” Magazine, which offers monthly tools and events for readers to excavate, elevate, illuminate & LOVE!

A great synchronicity here is that one of my clients, Malcom Carter, is producing an indie documentary on Nassim Haramein, that handsome brilliant man on the cover, called “The Connected Universe“!

Enjoy and celebrate the Yin-Yang of Receiving-Giving!  I welcome and encourage and and all comments and feedback here.  Thank you for YOU!

 

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EPSON scanner image

EPSON scanner image

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4 Tips On How To Live Longer With Peace Of Mind & Heart

hanging on love

 

My favorite part of social media is the fact that we, the people, own it.  With other mass mediums, we were the “con”sumer, sitting back and taking in whatever the media powerhouses had for us.  Today, we are the “pro”sumers, and we can create our own media to share, as well as develop relationships with like-minded people with no geographic limitation.  It is exciting times, indeed.

What holds true for our face-to-face relationships, also holds true in social media.  And so I offer these tips to you for both, but mostly, for you to truly enjoy your life and live longer, healthier, more prosperously.

TIP #1:  Feel genuine happiness for someone who has accomplished something noteworthy. 

Sounds easy, doesn’t it?  Of course, why not, right?

Here’s a perfect quote to help me make my point here:

Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self-worth.  Each of us has something to give that no one else has.  ~Elizabeth O’Connor

Let me share a recent story with you.  I’m shopping at a local store, and run into a neighborhood friend, let’s call her Susan.  Now Susan met me when I was escaping homelessness with my kids, and I had sent my son to her lovely home day care center for a year.

We hug one another, as always, and she asks me what’s been going on.  Since I had finally published my inspirational memoir eBook, I excitedly share with her this news.  Susan’s mouth dropped, and she straight out exclaims, “Oh my, Wendy.  I can’t believe you published a book while running your own business and raising 5 kids.  I really feel bad now.”

That was NOT the response I had expected, but at least she was honest.  Susan has a lot to be grateful for, as she is working full-time on her home business, raising her two sons and cultivating her relationship with her husband of 20 years.  My point is, that we all have our gifts, we all have our calling, and we all have our accomplishments.

Why then, should my success make her feel bad?  Do you ever experience this type of envy, as well?  If so, then drop it!  Bless the person who is doing notable things, and focus on all the praiseworthy things you are doing, or planning to do!

TIP #2:  Look at bad mistakes made as learning experiences for growth and transformation.

Thank God we are not perfect!  I read a great tweet recently how our imperfections allow us to learn and grow, become better people.  If we were all perfect, then what would be the point?!

Since we can all agree that we are not perfect, then we can all agree that imperfection leads to making errors.  We make mistakes.  Sometimes we can band aid it up for a minute, sometimes we can’t.  Sometimes our choices lead to great challenges.  But the greater the challenge, the more opportunity to grow stronger, more resilient.

OR, we can do what most of us choose to do, and feel REGRET.  What’s the point of that?  Don’t we have enough problems than to add regret to the mix?!

My cousin who read a synopsis of my eBook memoir asked me if I had regret, and if I could go back in time, would I do things differently?  A lot of people live in this mindset of wishing they could join Cher with her song, “If I could turn back time”…

First of all, we can’t.  And even if there was a time machine to do so, would you want to?  I would most definitely not.  As the mistakes I made led me to be the ‘me’ that I am today.  And I’ve made some MAJOR mistakes!

For just today, or for this week, look at your past as tremendous learning’s and if you feel regret, take that debilitating emotion and transform it to how you can now do better in the future.  Then soar forward, my friend!

TIP #3:  Look at your glass as always half full and remain receptive for more blessings.

“My Cup Runneth Over” and it really does, have you noticed?  Just take a minute to think of the blessings all around you.  Start with your health.  If you are reading this, then you are alive, you are breathing.  How about family and friends?  How about a roof over your head, a car to drive in, a delicious dinner to look forward to…

Yet we live in this lack mentality, that our glass is always half empty, and nothing fills us up.  And nothing ever will if we focus on lack instead of the plenty.  We are so blessed beyond measure.  It’s when we feel gratitude for all that we do have, that we will see how our cup is truly runneth over and over again.  Get those paper towels, your cup is spilling!  😉

Try this today, or for the full week.  See abundance, not lack.  And then share it!

TIP #4: Give from the heart just because, without the requirement to receive something back in return.

Again, this sounds so much simpler than it really is to do.  This is not because we are selfish people or that we don’t like to give to others.  No, not at all.  It’s mostly because we are in a culture that lives by this tit for tat mentality. I catch myself doing it, now that I practice mindfulness around this topic.

Imagine this as another Golden Rule ~ it’s as prevalent as gravity.  When you drop a book, it falls.  When you give from the heart, you open yourself up for blessings.  It may not be from the same person you gave to, most likely, it won’t be.  But it will come to you, just surrender any expectations and be aware when it arrives in your lap.

This personal example is funny to me, because it actually makes dollars and sense!  I received an extra $20 bill from a supermarket when I requested for cash back.  As a single mom in tight financial quarters, I almost took it.  But that is not my path, and I know it is not mine.  So I returned it to the stunned cashier and went about my day.

Within the same week, I received a check in the mail from the state of CA for $21!  It was out of the blue, and I still don’t know why it was sent to me.  Check it out, I earned $1 interest, not bad!  My other stories are not so methodical, but I know without doubt, when we give from the heart, the blessings will pour in…

I even started a Facebook group called “The Blessing Exchange” to share our blessings with one another.  Come on by and share and care!

So grateful to you, for your time and friendship.  Please feel free to comment below on your impressions here.

Big hugs to you,

Wendy Sue

Intimate Interview with Robert Strock, Founder of Humanistic Spirituality

Allow me to introduce one of my very first “Social Media with a Conscience” clients, Robert Strock, Founder of Humanistic Spirituality, Licensed Marriage Family Therapist, Minister, and President of The Global Bridge Foundation .  It is truly an honor to work with such a deep, loving, spiritual teacher and real down-to-earth human being.

What really blew me away was when I was interviewing for this Social Media position with Robert. There I was, Ms. Marketeer, discussing the many ways we could offer a value proposition to generate revenue, and Robert politely informed me that making a profit is not his goal.

What is his goal, then, you ask incredulously?!  Good question…

Robert’s sincere heart-felt goal is to inspire purposeful living and compassion for our human condition by offering us contemplative practices for self-transformation, available for free on the Humanistic Spirituality web site, where you will find a plethora of Guided Meditations, audio downloads, readings, and more.

And lucky me!  I get to step off the “make a profit” treadmill for a few hours each work day, and share this Divine content and guidance to the masses through social media!

Please make yourself comfortable, and join me for an intimate interview with Robert.

Robert, will you share with our readers how your spiritual path inspired you to form Humanistic Spirituality?

When I was a psychology major in college, I had a recurring dream that I forgot to take my final exams, until the last minute. In the dream, I’d rush into the classroom and stare at the teacher, who looked depressed and more like a caricature than a human being. I’d say to myself, “This person is supposed to teach me how to live a fulfilling life???”

I’d walk out of the classroom laughing at the absurdity of it all and never took the exam in the dream. Then I would wake up. Our supposed mentor had not found her own source of love, inspiration and tenderness. How could she inspire that in her students?

My psychology studies like my dream, felt limited, since they only partially guided me toward my heart and soul. When it came to a fundamentally healthy individual, most of the field of psychology seemed to develop only half of our human potential. That which helps us with personal insight and communication, grounds us in seeing own ego more clarity.  It also supports deeper intimacy.

And still, I asked myself over and over, “What other ways are there to find greater happiness and fulfillment?”

It was leaving me half empty.

I had a similar experience in my personal therapy. It was helpful in supporting certain aspects of my growth, but I kept feeling like there was so much more. When I was lucky enough to find a counselor with an open heart and substantial life experience, I felt inspired. But most of the time, I still felt hungry. Was it possible to find fulfillment, or was I living in a dream world?

My longing to find satisfaction motivated me, over a four-decade span, to conduct experiments with human and spiritual potential. When I began the search, I was heartened that these new approaches addressed the central questions that psychology seemed to consider secondary:

  • How do I connect to a higher power and potential?
  • What does it mean to be truly compassionate? Is a lasting peace possible?
  • What can I learn from studying the great masters like Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Mohammed and a host of others?

I experimented with a variety of approaches that valued the interconnectedness of life, our relationship to death, and the fulfillment of the human soul. It was a relief to finally address a calling I’d always felt deep inside!

Sounds like we are getting closer to the creation of Humanistic Spirituality, yes?

Yes!  However, most of these approaches seemed to minimize the importance of appreciating our humanness. If afraid, we were encouraged to have faith or understanding. If we had doubt, we were encouraged to surrender to a higher power.

In theory, these approaches acknowledged the importance of the human experience, but in a limited way. They espoused that once you had “developed, evolved, and found faith,” you had arrived at peace, lightness, equanimity, understanding and compassion.

I was concerned that most teachers didn’t give rich personal examples of the challenges they faced in their own lives. After all, I thought, we are all human beings, even if we walk a path of faith. Why don’t these religious and spiritual teachers expose their humanness by showing us how they fail and how they integrate their healing practices into daily life?

Instead, so many have unwittingly taught their students or followers to idealize the teacher and suppress their suffering.

Thankfully, there have been exceptions. A standout example is Pema Chodron, a highly respected Buddhist nun and teacher, who is clear in valuing the human experience by exposing her own humanness in her talks. At the same time, she teaches the values of heart, compassion, silence, and meditation.

When we are not concerned with bridging the human and the divine, we may tend to focus solely on the ego and our feelings, or put all of our attention on our soul and spirit.

Either way, we are leaving out the other crucial part of ourselves. I understood this inherently as I attempted to help my clients balance whichever tendency was dominant. I would ask someone who was suffering, “How can you take care of yourself?” This would release their fixation on their feelings.

They would choose a method that they felt would best support them. For example, if they had embraced meditation, they might meditate, pray or do some other contemplative practice. If they lived in a more mainstream world, they might choose a more practical approach. In both cases, they were shifting the focus from suffering to asking for relief.

Consistent with movement towards balance, as I saw clients or friends that were spiritual teachers, ministers, and devoted practitioners of certain approaches, I would typically ask them about their greatest challenges and difficult feelings that they were still dealing with.

My instinctive desire to find balance led me to develop an approach I call “Bridging the Human and the Divine” or “Holding of Opposites.” This involves holding our personal, human feelings, just as they are, while we also dedicate ourselves to a chosen practice to support our spirit.

As the Beatles sang, “Whisper words of wisdom—Let It Be.” If we judge ourselves, we are encouraged to be in touch with another side of ourselves that is aware of it and leaves it alone. If we are sad, we do not interfere.

We stay content to simply see things as they are, as we hold two states at the same time.

In closing, can you provide us with a common example of holding these two states at the same time?

Sure, a common example may be: I’m angry with my lover. And, I want to open my heart, not act out, and also discover my needs, which is a prayer and contemplation practice.

Which also happens to be the topic of our most recent blog, “Prayer for Love Relationships“.

Thank you, dear Robert, for you and for your generous heart.  I greatly appreciate you sharing your spiritual journey here with us, which helps to give us more of an understanding of Humanistic Spirituality’s roots.

Namaste.