Is it really about you?

/in /by

Hello my friend,

Want to share a concept which I’ve known for a long time, but am finally really getting it!

We take things WAY too personal, when 99% of the time, it truly has nothing to do with us, personally!

I’m looking at several layers here.

There is the racist, anti-semitic, homophobic, etc., arena — where someone or someones don’t like you because of your skin color, religion, sexual preference. 

Again, that is not PERSONAL.  It is ignorance on the part of the person who chooses to hate a group of people for whatever reason, mostly because they are taught such through their families, religion, community.  Whatever.

I’ve dealt with a lot of anti-semitism growing up Jewish, and of course, took it personally. 

One experience left me wounded for months, as I was dancing at a club with a handsome man, and we were flirting and having fun together.  Then he asked me why I was still at college during Easter weekend.  When I explained that I did not celebrate Easter, as I was Jewish, he literally went into shock, put down his beer, and RAN out of the bar!!

Was that personal?!

Anyway, I also dealt with what I call “reverse racism”, as I had married a black man, and was part of a black family.  When our babies popped out white in color, my mother-in-law (at the time) asked me in distress, “no offense or anything, but WHY are my grandchildren so white?!” with horror in her eyes.

LOL

In the same breath, I find myself taking things personally when a friend does not call me back for a few days, or maybe makes a comment that seemed judgmental or whatever.

So this week, I’ve taken the “I must have done something wrong” self-talk, and realized (with real eyes) that it is not about me at all — just like the racism discussion above, everyone has their own stuff, and whether or not we provoke someone’s stuff, or not, it’s mostly not about US.

“It’s none of my business what others think of me”, states wise Wayne Dyer.

As long as we continue to be and do the best we can, then we can smile and know that ALL is WELL!!

Have a magnificent weekend!!

Wendy Sue / Lady Clarity

“I was blind, but now I see ~ hence the name, Lady Clarity”. 
http://www.LadyClarity.com

  1. Anges
    Anges says:

    This is what I tell my children all the time when someone makes a hurtful comment: “What people say “says” more about them than about you”, don’t take it personally. This enables us to be more compassionate instead of getting defensive. Great blog. Thank you xx

  2. Dan Shafer
    Dan Shafer says:

    You are right on, my friend.

    In his seminal book, The Four Agreements, don Miguel Ruiz offers four rules to live by: be impeccable with your word, don’t take anything personally, don’t make assumptions, and finally, always do your best.

    You might well enjoy his little treatise.